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    Sunday, September 24, 2006

    SOS

    Neha needs a vacation.
    I’m sick and tired of college, tired of trying to be at my best behavior, of trying to keep up with the “super-womanly” image I’ve created for myself…..I’m even tired of friends and family. Recently, I’ve been dealing with two kinds of people… (a) People who think I can handle it all and can NEVER screw up, and (b) people who are expecting me to screw up. Either way, I end up losing – I obviously disappoint a lot of those from category (a) and I disappoint myself by trying too hard for those from category (b). If for once I give up, I’m the scum that lives in the dirtiest corner of a pond! I’m selfish and arrogant.
    In a social surrounding, I don’t feel it’s constantly necessary to scan people and take out flaws all the time. It’s alright to have a conversation without an ulterior motive. But no! For a certain somebody…that makes me stupid and naïve. It’s not ok to chit-chat with anyone without a purpose.
    Blah blah blah…there’s just so much more; I just don’t feel like racking my brains anymore! I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’m tired of people telling me I’m wrong. Maybe their “wrong” is just right for me. I’ll learn eventually, maybe…but for now, I just need everyone to back off just a little bit.
    Breathe, Neha, breathe…