Best friends?

To,
You know who you are

I've lived quite a while in a heart aching guilt, for you are my best friend. You're the one person I knew I could turn to no matter what. I did not hurt you intentionally...I thought you knew that...no, you told me you knew. We'd promised that we'd always put our friendship above all feelings and yet you failed. For the past few months, I've been trying so hard to just get my best friend back while you've only been difficult- like an stubborn, selfish child whose candy has been snatched. What you did that day was the last straw. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to live in this fantasy that our friendship is unique. It is not. It's driven by your own selfish motive. I've realized that the only reason you even want to remain friends with me is because you want something out of me.

So from now on, I will stop. I'm not going to let you drive me into feeling guilty all the time. We both made mistakes...but I took all the responsibility to make amendments. Now you go ahead and do something so vile, so hateful...it makes my blood boil when I think about it. Yes, you're right when you say that we both hurt each other but you're sadly wrong when you say I don't have the rights to be angry at you. You know why? Because one of us didn't hurt the other one intentionally...guess who that was!?

I'm done feeling guilty. I'm done believing you.You can brood and sulk all alone now.

Good luck.
N.

Bliss

8th Jan, 2009

So well, after attending to phone calls all night (and early morning), at around 7:45 am, I decided there was really no point trying to sleep. So, after rolling around in my super-cozy blanket a few more times, I dragged myself out of bed. Then I helped myself to a breakfast of a hearty chunk of extra gooey chocolate cake with a generous dollop of whipped cream *heaven*. Then I danced my way to the shower and of course the water was just luxuriously warm. THEN I spent almost an hour and half with my deliciously-red-good-enough-to-eat Pomegranate Body Polish and almost-reminds-me-of-Hawaii Coconut and Almond Oil Hair Conditioner... and an additional half an hour with my sweetly scented (with a hint of vanilla) Brazil Nut Body Butter.

Final touch: the zesty, spicy, musky, oh-so-aptly-named Fuel For Life Unlimited by Diesel.

Ah. Bliss. I love being the birthday girl.

Tagged!

Got this from Aditya - The Lover's blog. Rules are simple...whoever reads this, (please) reply to the questions in the comments section and put up the questions in your blog and see what people have to say about you!
You can be honest :)...I wont bite (or will I! *evil laugh*)


1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3.Something I have and you want?
4.Give me a nick name and explain why you picked it.
5.Describe me in one word.
6.What was your first impression of me?
7.Do you still think that way about me now?
8.What reminds you of me?
9.If you could ever give me one thing, what would it be?
10.How well do you know me?
11.How do you see me in the future?
12. Something you wanted to tell me but couldn't.
13.Are you going to put this on your blog to see what I say about you?

Would you?

Would you care if I was afraid,

Would you see it in my eyes?

Would it matter if I couldn’t sleep,

Would you hear my muffled cries?

What if I poured my heart out…

Would you take me in your arms?

Would you leave me alone and helpless?

Would you let me do myself any harm?

Would you listen if I had complains,

Would you pretend not to hear?

Would it be a waste of your time,

Would you much rather not be near?

Would you for once not get angry,

Knowing that I get scared?

Would you calm me down instead,

And not let my soul be bared?

Would you care no matter what?

Even if I pushed you away…

Would you know what I really want?

Would you know I need you to stay?

Would you care enough to find out,

Would you care enough to know?

All the words I’ll never tell,

All the things I’ll never show...

Unknowingly...

It isn't too difficult to win my heart,

I'm not too hard to woo...

I'm worried for your inclination

For you know not what you do.

It's so easy to hold on to your words

But I'm too afraid to want to;

This isn't the first time...

You know not what you do.

Ridiculously Random

There is a round black man standing before me discussing migration in the UK. I don’t understand and I’m not interested. I’m bored, tensed and sleepy. I have four assignments pending and the submission date seems to be nearing at the speed of light. Do I research the supermarkets in Britain or do I research 2012 Olympics? What the F are the Golden Rules of the F'ing Fiscal Policy??

Hmmm…I’m bored. SO! Following from my ridiculously popular post Radically Random, I present….drum roll please….some more crap.


I got glasses. After having perfect vision for 22 years, I got glasses! Why God why!!

I’ve been cursed by the Gods of Energy Conservation. My current accommodation has only 3 lights.

Mental note: stab the loud, annoying bastard sitting in front of me.

My favourite word is Serendipity. Does it not just feel like it dances off your lips!

I’m starting to fear burger and fries.

I have this insane, illogical fear of stairs.

Has anybody heard Joshua Radin?

It’s said that people with stubby fingers tend to be very violent….criminals mostly. Umm…I strongly disagree.

I love purple.

My accountancy professor is Greek and 6’4”. *smirk*

I’m a clumsy twat. I’m a walking, talking disaster. I drop almost everything I touch.

I haven’t spotted a single lizard in London. *touch wood. Thank God!*

You cannot escape Himesh Reshamiya anywhere. Nowhere in the world I tell you!

My oldest piece of stationary is a red, table top pencil sharpener. I've had it since I was 7.

I hate beer.

I want to travel to Switzerland and buy a fabulous, expensive set of Swiss knives.

Round black man calls me Nee-a/Naaiya/Naai (?!!)/ Neigh-ha. Is it that difficult to pronounce Neha??

It snowed here on Diwali.

London hasn’t had a white Christmas in about the last 10 years.

20 minutes left for this boring lecture to get over.

My drunken housemate flushed down a wiping cloth. Plumbing cost – 130 pounds. I wish he had thrown up in the cab instead...that would cost only a fine of 50 pounds.

Where’s the party tonight? Heehe…I don’t know why I typed that out.

I wonder how Quantum of Solace could even qualify as a Bond movie!

Why do some people ask so many questions? Mental note: stab the serial question asker too.

My Russian neighbor made Turkish wraps for me yesterday. I think I’ll send her something Chinese…

My new laptop is just so cute!

I need to buy a fabulous pair of boots.

I dislike being called “Bong”. I’m Bengali. Thank you very much.

I’m so glad George Bush is out of the picture.

I like adding a dash of salt and pepper in my lemon tea. So what!

If you have dimples, I automatically like you.

I came across a website which required me to press a button to confirm I am human. Hahaha…this is all that was left to see!

I have a terrible migraine problem.

I take way too many painkillers. I should probably stop.

Round black man just said I’m unusually quiet today. *snigger*

I should probably get back to class… more later!

Hmm I just typed in 525 words.

Oh! I just added new music to my blog. Did anyone notice?? The second song is by Joshua Radin.

546 words.

Of London and lovers...

Ok. So here’s the scoop.

London weather is officially the most depressing. The women here make me wish I was a few inches taller…a few inches narrower…a little more poised…oh what the heck! I stick out like a sore thumb! The good news is – nobody gives a damn. I don’t either. Well at least not most of the times. Strangers barely make eye contact, and yet are polite when you ask for directions or even share a little joke. The pubs here rock! But I still don’t like beer. I think I’m becoming more of a Rum and Coke person.

It’s scary and exciting - staying away from home for the first time. I think we’re all a little more capable than we think we are. Little realizations make life so much simpler…like oil stains are a bitch to get rid of (haahaha…though it doesn’t make life simpler, it does keep me more alert when I’m cooking!!). Well ok…love is overrated. It’s a hope you build in your hearts and top it up with oodles and oodles of silliness. And then at the end your world falls apart, your heart breaks and you get hurt and cry and all that jazz. Drama…a whole lot of drama. And yet I keep going back to him…to get my heart broken over and over again…hoping this time will be different. The funny thing is…this time is different. So different in fact, that I can’t even relate to it anymore…I feel ordinary and unloved…undesirable. I feel like an old favourite clothing that we’ve grown out of and yet keep tucked away in our wardrobes. I don’t have the strength to protect my heart anymore…I care lesser and lesser about how much it hurts and thus lack the enthusiasm to write it out. I let it be…leave my heart to fight it out on its own or die trying.

It’s a strange, strange situation…I feel helpless and empowered all at once. I know I will be hurt and yet I care too little. Well what other choices do you have if the only person you can turn to in a strange country is the person hurting you?

*snif* *snif*

My first blog award!

Thank you so much Arjun…I’m truly honoured! It’s wonderful when you find out that others can relate to your writing…
Well! Here are the blogs I like to read –

Tia - I'm so so so very proud to have such a brilliant writer as my best friend.

Sindhu - With Lion King splashed in the background, you can only expect joy from this blog! Whenever I read her posts, I have this insanely goofy grin plastered to my face and this girl never disappoints!

The Lover - If you've ever been in love, this blog will get to you. It'll stir your soul and get you thinking more about what he has NOT written.

Arjun - A must visit if you like fiction...his stories are original, light-hearted and humor is just right.

Sandeep - If you think his writing is good, you should see his photographs...here


Homer Simpson - is what I know this blogger as! His use of words is just scrumptious...and the content - uninhibited, deep and powerful.

Now, for those who don't know what to do...display the award on your blog and let us know who your favourite bloggers are with their links. And don't forget to inform them!

Thank you once again...Arjun and everyone who visit my blog :)