“What do you do and what would you want to do?”
I wonder how many people would have the same answer for both parts of the question. I don’t. Isn’t it hypocrisy at its supreme?! And the contradiction continues…
I’m a passionate dancer, but, am too scared to give in to it. I know I’m a wonderful dancer but I fear I might not be good enough. I fear I might lose the respect and support of everyone whose lives are attached to mine and yet I know these are the people who will see me through my worst times. So what do I do? I shift my career focus elsewhere. Am I happy about it? Sure, I’m not sad it about it either!
Sometimes while exploring your only dream, you discover newer ones. Maybe not always as good as the old one, but good enough to keep you occupied. That, I guess, is a brief prelude to my story. However, in some dingy corner, a small flickering flame continued to burn…bearing blow after blow and even then, adamant not to fizzle out. Ofcourse, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The old flame is burning with all its might now, almost as if threatening to consume everything that competes with it...if only it had words, I’m sure you would hear too. It finds ways to pull me back to itself, proving once again how in control it is. Yes, I invited it back…but was it ever out of my life to begin with!
Such has been my career shift, that no matter how much I want to, I cannot master two things at one time. I bet even Superwoman wouldn’t challenge me on this one! Do I walk out on a success that is oh-so-close and tread into a world I’ve fantasized about for as long as I can remember? I neither can, nor do I want to answer that one. I’m too practical and yet fiercely passionate. Sadly, passion and practicality are forever at war. Why me? Why do I have so much to lose if I choose to be selfish? Only I know how passionately I feel about dancing…why can’t I let the world know too…
I have decided that there is such a thing as Luck…which obviously pays me a visit at all the wrong times. Besides, how else will you explain less deserving ones ‘playing in the lap of success?
