The Pain

What do you do with the pain? The pain that’s eating away at your existence, threatening to corrode your very soul?

It conquers your life, runs it the way it wishes to, twists you into many complicated knots till you can’t breathe. The pain becomes a separate entity and watches you burn from the inside out.

It even lends a match.

The pain.

It manifests itself into different forms, changing like a chameleon hiding for cover...sometimes hot, angry tears...sometimes acrid words spewed out of a bleeding lip...sometimes a razor sharp cut on the skin. And sometimes, numbness. A blunt force trauma to the heart with no visible wounds.

Tears don’t surface.

Words lose voice

The gashes are too deep inside. Too concealed to be revealed.

The pain seeps through the veins like an invisible, untraceable drug. The pain grows on you like cancer...it possesses you.

That dull ache in your heart becomes your new heartbeat.

Silence becomes your new voice.

It’s the shadow that only leaves you when you’re in the dark – frightened, cold and alone. And every time you think it’s safe to step out into the light, you find it just where you left it.

Waiting patiently.

Laughing at your naivety.

Foolish you.

You give in to its iron grip. Leave everything behind, take off your shoes and prepare to walk on broken glass. Fragments of your life.

And you see blood seeping through.

How else would pain walk you down its path?

The Bengali Affair

Apparently, my love affair with Bengali writing hasn't ended yet.

When I wrote my first Bengali poem back in 2009, I was almost certain that it would be my last. Not because I didn't want to write in Bengali anymore, but because I didn't think I had it in me. But if there's one thing I've learnt about writing, especially poetry, it is that it's best beyond our control. Words choose themselves and that we are just the medium.

So, this is me letting go.

চেনা-অচেনা

তোমার পথে চলে,

আনন্দে পথ হারিয়ে

এসেছি বহু দূর, সব ভুলে।

সেই মোড়, সেই গাছ,

কিন্তু কেমন অচেনা লাগে আজ-

গাছের সেই আলো ছায়ার নাচ।

তোমার খুশিতে খুঁজেছি নিজেকে,

ভুলেছি আমার দুঃখে তুমি নেই;

হাওয়ায় উড়ে আসা শুকনো পাতা তুমি,

ঝড়ের বেগে উড়ে চলেছ সেই।

গোধূলি আভা ছুঁয়েছে তোমায়,

তোমার স্পর্শে আজ রাঙা বাতাস;

তুমি যেন এক চেনা-অচেনা স্বপ্ন,

তুমি দিনের শেষে সেই দীর্ঘশ্বাস।

রাতের আড়ালে লুকানো সে ব্যাথা,

তুমি দিনের আলোতে দেখা দাওনা তাই;

একটা ছায়া যার পিছু করে না কেও,

তোমার আগুনে পুড়ে, রয়ে গেছে ছাই।

And, this is how it would read-

**Chena-Achena

Tomaar pothe choley

Anonde poth hariye,

Eshechi bohu dur, shob bhuley.

Sheiy mod, sheiy gaach,

Kintu kemon achena lage aaj-

Gaacher sheiy alo chayaar naach.

Tomar khushi’te khujechi nijeke,

Bhulechi aamar dukkhe tumi neiy;

Haway ude asha shukno pata tumi,

Jhor’er bege ude cholecho sheiy.

Godhuli abha chuyeche tomay,

Tomar sphorshe aaj ranga batash;

Tumi jeno ek chena-achena sapno,

Tumi diner sheshe sheiy dirghosshash.

Raater aarale lukono she byatha,

Tumi diney alo’te dekha daona taiy;

Ekta chhaya jar pichu kore na keo,

Tomar aagune poorey, roye geche chhaiy.

P.S. Open the comments section to find a rough translation :)