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    Sunday, September 24, 2006

    SOS

    Neha needs a vacation.
    I’m sick and tired of college, tired of trying to be at my best behavior, of trying to keep up with the “super-womanly” image I’ve created for myself…..I’m even tired of friends and family. Recently, I’ve been dealing with two kinds of people… (a) People who think I can handle it all and can NEVER screw up, and (b) people who are expecting me to screw up. Either way, I end up losing – I obviously disappoint a lot of those from category (a) and I disappoint myself by trying too hard for those from category (b). If for once I give up, I’m the scum that lives in the dirtiest corner of a pond! I’m selfish and arrogant.
    In a social surrounding, I don’t feel it’s constantly necessary to scan people and take out flaws all the time. It’s alright to have a conversation without an ulterior motive. But no! For a certain somebody…that makes me stupid and naïve. It’s not ok to chit-chat with anyone without a purpose.
    Blah blah blah…there’s just so much more; I just don’t feel like racking my brains anymore! I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’m tired of people telling me I’m wrong. Maybe their “wrong” is just right for me. I’ll learn eventually, maybe…but for now, I just need everyone to back off just a little bit.
    Breathe, Neha, breathe…

    2 afterthoughts :

    1. Ahana said...

      do lots of potty and lots of deep breathing and lots of remembering that there is an Ahana somewhere who knows you couldn't screw up everything because they're the wrong shape to screw.

    2. Aditya Sinha said...

      "If for once I give up, I’m the scum that lives in the dirtiest corner of a pond! I’m selfish and arrogant."

      If once you give up , thas your choice . Let not those who judge you , define who you are .