R.I.P

You selfish prick. I just told you someone I knew DIED and all you care about is that I’m not talking to you??!

It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know her too well, it doesn’t even matter that she wasn’t my favourite person. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s gone. She seemed like she had everything going for her…pretty girl, talented, ambitious – she knew exactly what she wanted out of life when most of us were still aimless. What could have gone so wrong that she felt the need to end her life?

Yes, I’m grateful for all that I have in life and no matter how difficult things get, I never lose track of all my blessings. There’s a lot of joy and there are a lot of heartaches. Life isn’t perfect. I don’t know if my problems will get any better or worse…I don’t know if I’ll be loved the way I want to be loved or if I’ll ever love back the way I imagine it in my mind…I don’t know how my life will be 5 years…10 years down the line…if I’ll be happy. And tonight for the first time in my life, not knowing frightens me.

May your soul rest in peace P.