Momentarily...

A gust of cool breeze

On a still summer night-

Suddenly delightful,

Lifting my soul in your flight.

I breathe you in

To keep you a little longer;

But you slip through my being,

And I’m alone, yet a little stronger.

Heard in the silence...

Shamelessly expressed,

yet mysteriously hidden so-

Words scattered carelessly,

Tears now threatening to show.

Here I stand before you

Barer than ever before -

I sold my soul to emptiness

Hope- I have no more.

I turn my face away from you,

To not see you turning your back on me;

I dry my tears as fast as I can-

Before you can pretend not to see.

I fiercely hold my words back,

Before you can act aloof;

And drown myself in irrelevance

My scars, the only remaining proof.

I watch you sleep blissfully

While I die a little each day,

I close my eyes and speak to the silence

Of everything you didn’t let me say.

Best friends?

To,
You know who you are

I've lived quite a while in a heart aching guilt, for you are my best friend. You're the one person I knew I could turn to no matter what. I did not hurt you intentionally...I thought you knew that...no, you told me you knew. We'd promised that we'd always put our friendship above all feelings and yet you failed. For the past few months, I've been trying so hard to just get my best friend back while you've only been difficult- like an stubborn, selfish child whose candy has been snatched. What you did that day was the last straw. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to live in this fantasy that our friendship is unique. It is not. It's driven by your own selfish motive. I've realized that the only reason you even want to remain friends with me is because you want something out of me.

So from now on, I will stop. I'm not going to let you drive me into feeling guilty all the time. We both made mistakes...but I took all the responsibility to make amendments. Now you go ahead and do something so vile, so hateful...it makes my blood boil when I think about it. Yes, you're right when you say that we both hurt each other but you're sadly wrong when you say I don't have the rights to be angry at you. You know why? Because one of us didn't hurt the other one intentionally...guess who that was!?

I'm done feeling guilty. I'm done believing you.You can brood and sulk all alone now.

Good luck.
N.

Bliss

8th Jan, 2009

So well, after attending to phone calls all night (and early morning), at around 7:45 am, I decided there was really no point trying to sleep. So, after rolling around in my super-cozy blanket a few more times, I dragged myself out of bed. Then I helped myself to a breakfast of a hearty chunk of extra gooey chocolate cake with a generous dollop of whipped cream *heaven*. Then I danced my way to the shower and of course the water was just luxuriously warm. THEN I spent almost an hour and half with my deliciously-red-good-enough-to-eat Pomegranate Body Polish and almost-reminds-me-of-Hawaii Coconut and Almond Oil Hair Conditioner... and an additional half an hour with my sweetly scented (with a hint of vanilla) Brazil Nut Body Butter.

Final touch: the zesty, spicy, musky, oh-so-aptly-named Fuel For Life Unlimited by Diesel.

Ah. Bliss. I love being the birthday girl.

Tagged!

Got this from Aditya - The Lover's blog. Rules are simple...whoever reads this, (please) reply to the questions in the comments section and put up the questions in your blog and see what people have to say about you!
You can be honest :)...I wont bite (or will I! *evil laugh*)


1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3.Something I have and you want?
4.Give me a nick name and explain why you picked it.
5.Describe me in one word.
6.What was your first impression of me?
7.Do you still think that way about me now?
8.What reminds you of me?
9.If you could ever give me one thing, what would it be?
10.How well do you know me?
11.How do you see me in the future?
12. Something you wanted to tell me but couldn't.
13.Are you going to put this on your blog to see what I say about you?

Would you?

Would you care if I was afraid,

Would you see it in my eyes?

Would it matter if I couldn’t sleep,

Would you hear my muffled cries?

What if I poured my heart out…

Would you take me in your arms?

Would you leave me alone and helpless?

Would you let me do myself any harm?

Would you listen if I had complains,

Would you pretend not to hear?

Would it be a waste of your time,

Would you much rather not be near?

Would you for once not get angry,

Knowing that I get scared?

Would you calm me down instead,

And not let my soul be bared?

Would you care no matter what?

Even if I pushed you away…

Would you know what I really want?

Would you know I need you to stay?

Would you care enough to find out,

Would you care enough to know?

All the words I’ll never tell,

All the things I’ll never show...

Unknowingly...

It isn't too difficult to win my heart,

I'm not too hard to woo...

I'm worried for your inclination

For you know not what you do.

It's so easy to hold on to your words

But I'm too afraid to want to;

This isn't the first time...

You know not what you do.

Ridiculously Random

There is a round black man standing before me discussing migration in the UK. I don’t understand and I’m not interested. I’m bored, tensed and sleepy. I have four assignments pending and the submission date seems to be nearing at the speed of light. Do I research the supermarkets in Britain or do I research 2012 Olympics? What the F are the Golden Rules of the F'ing Fiscal Policy??

Hmmm…I’m bored. SO! Following from my ridiculously popular post Radically Random, I present….drum roll please….some more crap.


I got glasses. After having perfect vision for 22 years, I got glasses! Why God why!!

I’ve been cursed by the Gods of Energy Conservation. My current accommodation has only 3 lights.

Mental note: stab the loud, annoying bastard sitting in front of me.

My favourite word is Serendipity. Does it not just feel like it dances off your lips!

I’m starting to fear burger and fries.

I have this insane, illogical fear of stairs.

Has anybody heard Joshua Radin?

It’s said that people with stubby fingers tend to be very violent….criminals mostly. Umm…I strongly disagree.

I love purple.

My accountancy professor is Greek and 6’4”. *smirk*

I’m a clumsy twat. I’m a walking, talking disaster. I drop almost everything I touch.

I haven’t spotted a single lizard in London. *touch wood. Thank God!*

You cannot escape Himesh Reshamiya anywhere. Nowhere in the world I tell you!

My oldest piece of stationary is a red, table top pencil sharpener. I've had it since I was 7.

I hate beer.

I want to travel to Switzerland and buy a fabulous, expensive set of Swiss knives.

Round black man calls me Nee-a/Naaiya/Naai (?!!)/ Neigh-ha. Is it that difficult to pronounce Neha??

It snowed here on Diwali.

London hasn’t had a white Christmas in about the last 10 years.

20 minutes left for this boring lecture to get over.

My drunken housemate flushed down a wiping cloth. Plumbing cost – 130 pounds. I wish he had thrown up in the cab instead...that would cost only a fine of 50 pounds.

Where’s the party tonight? Heehe…I don’t know why I typed that out.

I wonder how Quantum of Solace could even qualify as a Bond movie!

Why do some people ask so many questions? Mental note: stab the serial question asker too.

My Russian neighbor made Turkish wraps for me yesterday. I think I’ll send her something Chinese…

My new laptop is just so cute!

I need to buy a fabulous pair of boots.

I dislike being called “Bong”. I’m Bengali. Thank you very much.

I’m so glad George Bush is out of the picture.

I like adding a dash of salt and pepper in my lemon tea. So what!

If you have dimples, I automatically like you.

I came across a website which required me to press a button to confirm I am human. Hahaha…this is all that was left to see!

I have a terrible migraine problem.

I take way too many painkillers. I should probably stop.

Round black man just said I’m unusually quiet today. *snigger*

I should probably get back to class… more later!

Hmm I just typed in 525 words.

Oh! I just added new music to my blog. Did anyone notice?? The second song is by Joshua Radin.

546 words.